It's a beautiful day for a hangover
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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