some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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