I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
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