I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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