exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
