Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
