Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
