Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
