U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
