They should really pass out barf bags in church
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
