I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He has the fingertips of a God
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