I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
A+ Viking dick
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
