how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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