Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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