FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
