im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
