never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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