Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
