When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
