i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
