im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
