The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
