brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I could make wine with my vomit
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
