whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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