Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
