i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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