And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Small penises have feelings too.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
