she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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