You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize