He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
She told me I should be a condom model.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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