all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
