My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
