She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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