Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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