I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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