i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
