Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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