let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
