why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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