As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
