All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
