What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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