Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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