We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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