Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
