She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
