I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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