Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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