I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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