First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
