What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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