ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
