mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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