Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
