I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I have already put on my inside pants.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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