Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
