I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
