OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
