I need help removing her.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
