sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
