I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize