there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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