I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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