Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
