So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
