Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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