i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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