I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
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