Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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