babies were throwing up all over the place
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
