they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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